Here are a few things I was thinking while watching the Democratic presidential debate:

Hillary Clinton says she’s not campaigning on her last name. But if she had a different last name we wouldn’t even know who she was.

The five lefties on stage make freshmen at Oberlin College sound like right-wingers.

Bernie Sanders makes “billionaire” sound like a curse word. I’m not sure if he reminds me of Karl Marx or Groucho Marx.

Sanders just said fraud is a business model on Wall Street. I’m getting the impression he and the others hate rich Americans more than they hate ISIS. Too harsh?

Lots of talk about income inequality but nothing about dysfunction behavior that leads to income inequality. Sorry, I just remembered: Liberals aren’t allowed to talk about stuff like that.

Just heard a question about whether black lives matter or all lives matter. Anderson Cooper asks Sanders and O’Malley what they think but noticeably fails to ask Hillary. I wonder why. I would have liked to hear her answer.

Sanders defends Hillary, saying no one cares about her “damn emails.” Really? Polls show the American people care. Most think she’s dishonest. Why didn’t Anderson Cooper bring that up?

Sanders thinks climate change is the biggest problem facing America? Is this man a Republican mole?

Jim Webb says smart things and the audience yawns. Hillary and Bernie sneeze and get standing ovations.

I’m starting to feel sorry for billionaires.

If you’re a Republican you should pray that Bernie gets the nomination.

Is Bernie Sanders middle name Che? Just asking.

If Putin is watching he must be hoping the Democrats win next year.

You know what’s missing from this debate? Joe Biden telling us the answer to all our economic problems can be summed up with a simple 3-letter word: J-O-B-S.

You know which candidate most sounds like Winston Churchill? Neither do I.

I love America but if this goes on much longer I will give up state secrets.

After listening to these five for nearly two hours I’m starting to like Donald Trump.