Ken Paxton may just be the luckiest man on Earth, or at least in Texas. He should consider putting down two bucks for a Powerball ticket or maybe paying a visit to the Kickapoo Lucky Eagle Casino along the Rio Grande.
Paxton, of course, is the Republican nominee to be the next U.S. Senator from Texas. Largely because of President Trump’s endorsement, he ousted incumbent Senator John Cornyn in the GOP primary. But many observers consider Paxton a truly lousy, wretched candidate. His checkered past includes legal problems, moral failings, ethical lapses, and an overall record that would disqualify most people. That’s where the luck comes in. Much like landing an inside straight on the river card in Texas hold’em, Paxton drew as his opponent the most bizarre Senate candidate this side of Angie Nixon and Francesca Hong.
You’ve heard a lot about James Talarico, the boyish-looking 37-year-old who defeated Jasmine Crockett in the Democratic primary. Some pundits have dubbed him ‘Tala-freak-o,’ which seems a bit grade-school infantile, but there’s no doubt James is one weird customer. It’s not just the six genders and nonbinary God stuff; it’s his far, far left positions that make Uncle Bernie very proud. Talarico is all in on just about every crazy idea promulgated by the Democratic Socialists of America, although he stops short of wanting to abolish the Senate and the presidency. In deep red Texas, he is the gift that keeps on giving.
Last week Ken Paxton and Republicans got another surprise present in the form of a newly-unearthed video. It’s not ancient, but from just six years ago when Talarico was already in the Texas House. He is on video talking to a group of activists about the evils of big oil, ‘white supremacy,’ and capitalism. Jimmy T actually suggested that it would be a good idea to ‘dismantle’ capitalism and compared the state’s dominance in oil and gas to having the lead in cassette tape production in the ’80s. The oil industry, he assured his fellow lefties, ‘is not gonna last.’
But never mind all that! Since being nominated, the trans-friendly Talarico has transitioned into a meat-chompin’, pickup-drivin’, gun-totin’, capitalist whose earlier statements ‘missed the mark.’ He’s trying mightily to ditch his past, littered as it is with ideas that would fit perfectly in Massachusetts or Vermont, not Texas. At the moment, most polls show a tight race in the Lone Star State, but in this election cycle polls have consistently erred in favor of the most radical candidate. Remember when Abdul El-Sayed was going to crush Haley Stevens by double digits in Michigan? The far-left El-Sayed won by about a point. Then there was the aforementioned Francesca Hong, the Thanksgiving-loathing loon who was a sure bet to trounce David Crowley in Wisconsin. She lost and has been relegated to the proverbial dustbin of history.
No one should be surprised if more of Talarico’s damning comments emerge over the coming weeks. Ken Paxton has barely begun campaigning, and his opposition-research team is no doubt scouring old YouTube videos and Twitter posts. In the gun-friendly culture of Texas, Talarico has supplied them with plenty of ammunition. Reverting to the title of this Dispatch, part of the Texas Two-Step has one partner walking backwards. James Talarico has that move mastered, which may be the most Texan thing about him.
