"You did it, you did it,
you did it in a minute."
- Hall & Oates
Putin caused inflation. That's what Joe Biden, Barack Obama, and Jen Psaki told the nation. We are dealing with the "Putin price rise."
Of course, all the stats say consumer prices were going up fast before Russia invaded Ukraine but damn those pesky facts. It was Putin, for sure. Just as the devil made Flip Wilson do it a long time ago, Bad Vlad is the instigator today.
And it's not just inflation. Not even close. Did you know that Putin made Will Smith slap Chris Rock? Didn't you know that? Old Will simply channeled Vlad, and boom, the Oscars stage was invaded.
Jennifer Lopez reunited with Ben Affleck because of Putin. No lie. Jen is so frightened of the diminutive Vlad that she sought protection from Big Ben. The actor, not the clock.
Rumor is Jen Psaki will soon blame the chaotic southern border on Putin. People in Honduras believe their country is on Vlad's invasion list, so they are getting the heck out while the getting is good.
Putin is also responsible for the rise in violent crime in America. Criminals are apparently under his spell and want to violate innocent civilians like Vlad's forces are doing in Mariupol.
President Biden sees this Putin thing clearly and knows his adversary is directly responsible for every single failure of his administration, and it's a long list that I can tell you.
Massive airline delays - Putin's fault.
Trans restrooms - Vlad did it.
Critical Race Theory - invented by Putin.
MSNBC - the dictator secretly runs it.
The Los Angeles Lakers - Putin.
Tom Brady coming out of retirement - Vlad ordered him to do it.
Hunter Biden? Don't even ask.
With Vlad having so much power over everything that happens in America, it is only a matter of time before the following occurs.
Vlad will be appointed CEO of Disney.
He will partner with Elon Musk to take over Twitter.
He will be a substitute host on The View.
He'll run Ocasio-Cortez's next campaign.
Vlad will make Kamala Harris stop giggling.
He will tour with the Rolling Stones.
And finally, The New York Times will discover, through anonymous sources, that Putin forced that bird to poop on Biden's suit.
I know all that sounds incredible. But it's not nearly as unbelievable as blaming the Vlad-meister for the nearly ten percent inflation rate now battering the USA.