By Bill O'Reilly for BillOReilly.com
Thursday, August 28, 2008
DENVER — With much of the nation sampling TV coverage of the Democratic Convention, things are getting a bit dicey for NBC News. For months, that organization has tilted heavily toward promoting Barack Obama for president, thereby violating traditional journalistic tenets.
According to a recent study by the Media Research Center, NBC News has the most lopsided pro-Obama coverage among national TV news operations. The MRC found that pro-Obama reports outnumber anti-Obama reports by 10 to one on NBC News, an amazing statistic.
With that in mind, let's take a look at how the NBC Nightly News might look sometime very soon.
"Hi, I'm Brian Williams, thank you for joining us tonight. Before we get to our lineup this evening, I should tell you that I am wearing the same kind of suit Senator Obama had on yesterday, and I like it very much. The fabric is soft and has an air of authority. I want to thank the Senator for his good taste.
"Our first story tonight is from Andrea Mitchell, who has learned that Senator Obama is indeed related to Moses. NBC has discovered the wicker basket in which Moses floated down the Nile River before being rescued by the Pharaoh's wife. We can tell you tonight that DNA traces found in that basket match Barack Obama! Incredible.
"Also ahead, NBC News correspondent Lee Cowan is traveling with Senator Obama and reports that he is a really big tipper, and his teeth are perfect.
"Continuing with our election coverage, Chuck Todd will analyze exactly how Michelle Obama came to be so smart. And good looking. By the way, my wife has a dress very similar to the one Mrs. Obama wore on stage in Denver. She likes it a lot.
"After Chuck files his report, Maria Menounos has an exclusive story on how Rev. Wright has undergone a radical transformation. Maria has learned that after going to Lourdes, the Reverend now believes all Americans are really neat people, and is wearing the same kind of American flag pin that Barack Obama wears. Rather than damning America, Wright now believes the Deity likes the country especially because Senator Obama might be President.
"Finally, Tom Brokaw will take a look back at the entire Obama family tree. This is amazing. New evidence suggests that Barack Obama is not only a distant cousin to Dick Cheney, but is also related to General George Patton, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and St. Francis of Assisi. DNA found on a bird in Chicago confirms this.
"As for John McCain, there is a rumor he has been denied AARP membership because he is too old.
"So we have quite a program for you this evening right here on NBC News. Please stay tuned."