No Spin Zone
Fleeing TV
By: Staff Thursday, December 5, 2013
Marketing surveys now show that when Americans come home from work, more folks turn on their computers than their television sets. That is a first.

The reason is twofold: first you can create your own world on your PC, and secondly TV is awful. Flat out awful. For years, television has been losing viewers because the product, generally speaking, has collapsed.

Reality TV has destroyed the tube. Cheap, mindless shows featuring people who should be deported rule the airwaves. Don't believe me? Well, TV Guide recently listed "Reality TV's most startling moments." The choices were, indeed, startling.

Among them, Marie Osmond fainting on Dancing With the Stars. That was unforgettable, was it not? All ten of her siblings attempted to resuscitate her.

Laurie has a breast-baring meltdown on a program called "She's Got the Look." I don't know who Laurie is but believe she may be overexposed. Or something.

Rebecca gets dentures on Breaking Amish. I am not fabricating this. I didn't even know the Amish broke anything. Hopefully, Rebecca can clean the dentures without electricity. At least she's in better shape than Laurie.

An Elvis impersonator is overwhelmed by memorabilia on the show Hoarders. I missed that. I'm sorry.

Tom Delay dances to "Wild Thing" on Dancing with the Stars. That was why Marie Osmond fainted.

The Osbourne's examining the aftermath of Ozzy's ATV accident. Does it get any better than that? Does it?

Kim Kardashian weds Chris Humphries on Kim's Fairytale Wedding. This was the nadir. An untalented but ambitious woman marrying a young basketball player then divorcing him about twenty minutes later. And the guy got hurt. So why are people watching that? Disturbing question.

Monica Lewinsky hosts Mr. Personality. This was an actual TV show - insert your joke here.

On a show called "The Surreal Life," the guy who played Mini-Me in an Austin Powers movie rides a scooter naked. Why didn't Kim Kardashian think of that?

The Queer Eye guys go nude. Did they have scooters as well? I honestly don't know.

Michelle Obama appears on The Biggest Loser. This is a weight loss program not the Republican Convention.

And finally, chef Gordon Ramsey "fat-shames" a Hell's Kitchen contestant. All I can say is that Jackie Gleason would have taken Gordon out.

So it is beyond dispute that television is in deep trouble. These reality shows make Gilligan's Island look like MacBeth. They are like unspeakable zombies destroying the entire structure of the TV industry.

Thank God PBS is still on the air. But even here there is some worry. Elmo has been seen hanging with the Kardashians. It's just a matter of time until someone gets engaged.
JUNE 29, 2015
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