Guests: Father Jonathan Morris

The Factor began Wednesday's show with the news that 76-year-old Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina is now Pope Francis, head of the Catholic Church. Fox News analyst Father Jonathan Morris, reporting from the Vatican, described the new Pope as an extremely humble man. "He regularly took the bus when he was in Argentina," Morris reported, "and people would swarm him, calling him 'Father Jorge.' He was a man of the people, but at the same time he was very strong in his statements taking on what he believed was corruption in the Argentine government. The cardinals realize that the corruption and dysfunction within the Vatican needs a strong hand, and that's why they looked to Jorge Bergoglio." The Factor added to the portrait of Pope Francis by saying, "He is a champion of the poor and he is a social conservative who doesn't want gay nuptials or birth control."

Guests: Carl Cameron

"For the first time in four years the Senate has put forth a budget proposal. President Obama and the Democratic Party claim they are cutting almost $3 trillion out of the federal deficit, but they don't tell you that is over a ten-year period. In fact, there have been no real cuts and Democrats are just slowing down the rate of spending growth. The Democratic budget calls for $1 trillion in tax increases over the next ten years. How are you going to grow an economy with that, when every American is going to pay some of those taxes? Are you not already paying taxes through the roof? And the Democrats want to add another $1 trillion in taxes! U.S. corporate taxes are already the highest in the world, but there is no doubt the President wants to raise them even higher. The President and the Democratic Party have failed to tell the American people exactly what programs they'll cut in the future. This is really irresponsible, is it not?"

The Factor asked Fox News correspondent Carl Cameron to contrast the dueling Republican and Democratic budget proposals. "For the first time in almost a century," Cameron reported, "Congress has come up with their spending plans before the President. And the two parties are approaching this from totally different directions. Paul Ryan's Republican budget leans heavily on entitlement reform, which includes Medicare and Medicaid and the repeal of Obamacare. The Democrats call that draconian and say the math is phony. In contrast, Republicans say the Democratic proposal to increase taxes by $975 billion over the next ten years will make an economic recovery much harder." The Factor smacked both parties with equal vigor: "You have a Democratic Party that is all in on taking as much money from working Americans as they can get, and on the other side you have a Republican Party living in a fantasy land saying it's going to repeal Obamacare."

Guests: Bob Beckel

Despite a national debt that is approaching $17 trillion, President Obama says there is no immediate fiscal crisis. The Factor was joined by 'The Five' host Bob Beckel, who wholeheartedly endorsed the President's claim. "I agree with him completely," Beckel stated, "and there has been enough fear mongering about this deficit by you and other people. A simple question to the American people: When you woke up this morning, what was it about the federal budget that hurt you in any way?" The Factor answered Beckel's rhetorical question, saying, "It's kind of like a coming tsunami when people are standing on the beach and wondering why the ocean is going out like that."

Guests: Curtis Hubbard

After The Factor denounced Colorado House Speaker Mark Ferrandino for blocking Jessica's Law, the Denver Post's Curtis Hubbard wrote that "O'Reilly's fear-mongering should offend all Coloradans ... (it was) a fact-challenged, bigoted line of attack." Hubbard entered the No Spin Zone to defend his incendiary editorial. "This was my column," Hubbard began, "so it's my opinion and not the opinion of the editorial board. I didn't call you a 'homophobe,' but I did call into question what Representative Ferrandino's sexuality had to do with his opposition to Jessica's Law. You used his sexuality and his support for gay marriage as rationales for why he would oppose Jessica's Law, you used his sexuality to impugn his character." The Factor responded with an explanation of why Ferrandino's sexual orientation was mentioned: "I described Ferrandino to the audience because they doesn't know who the heck he is, and I did it in the context of what his priorities are. His priorities are civil unions and legalizing marijuana, he doesn't want Jessica's Law, but I made no correlation between him being openly gay and Jessica's Law. You are a smear merchant!"

Guests: Dennis Miller

Dennis Miller entered the No Spin Zone with his learned analysis of the government-funded study to determine why many lesbians are overweight. "The reason lesbians are chubby," Miller declared, "is that they feel no need whatsoever to attract men any more. It's that simple! And by the way, the entire country is like Wimpy in the Popeye cartoons, everybody's on the mooch. This stuff has to be funded but we can't send an aircraft carrier to the Persian Gulf!" The Factor also posed a burning question to Miller: Who is intellectually gifted enough to fill Joy Behar's shoes on The View? "I would hire a chunky lesbian," Miller replied, "because they need money. Or you should go on in drag, Billy, and host it as a character named Wilhelmina. Then when you go on the show next time, Bill O'Reilly and Wilhelmina can get into a fight and Wilhelmina can storm off and blow everybody's mind!"

Guests: Juliet Huddy

Fox News correspondent Juliet Huddy analyzed a new study showing that West Virginia, Mississippi, and Arkansas are, respectively, the fattest states in America. "The bottom line," she said, "is that if you live in one of the worst states as far as poverty goes then you are most likely to be fat. Low income neighborhoods just don't have as many healthy choices and that's where you see all the fast-food places. Rich people are four times more likely to have supermarkets, and supermarkets are where you get the wide variety of healthy choices."

Eliana Nolan, Sachse, TX: "Mr. O'Reilly, even though I am only ten years old, I would like to be heard. Tax money spent on Mars food menus and a stupid prom video game is dumb. I do not want to pay for these things when I am an adult."

Pete Bruno, Arvada, CO: "What's insane is that the Obama administration believes deficit spending will grow the economy. If that were true, we'd have the greatest economic boom in history."

Linda Matthews, Bowling Green, KY: "Ashley Judd is no more qualified to be a senator from this state than I am. Being a Kentucky Wildcat fan is not enough."

Steve, Memphis, TN: "Bill, you say a hot bath will help you sleep. I say smoke a joint!"

If you guys want to look sharp, which is critical to your success, buy a few jackets in different colors, a few dress shirts, and a couple of nice ties. Getting the good stuff will pay off.