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The O'Reilly Factor
Friday, April 26, 2013
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Barney Frank re-enters the No Spin Zone
The Factor began Friday's show with former Congressman Barney Frank, who came under fire for using the Boston Marathon bombings to criticize folks who want fewer taxes and smaller government. "When I was called that day," Frank said, "I always began by talking about the sadness we all feel. Some interviewers then pressed me for further reaction and I do not think a discussion of public policy is either premature or inappropriate. I do not accept the notion that you suspend the discussion of important issues after a tragedy." The Factor told Frank why many considered his comments inappropriate: "When you say that no tax cut would help this situation, you are basically polarizing Americans who want lower taxes and smaller government. But in a time like this, I wanted to see all Americans to come together. Your rhetoric was dividing people when we should have been uniting people." Frank returned fire by citing Dennis Miller's appearance on The O'Reilly Factor. "Two days after the bombings Mr. Miller, with you cheering him on, attacked President Obama for his response. And I did not know you are opposed to polarizing, I could not tell from watching your show."
Is the Department of Agriculture providing illegal immigrants with food stamps?
The conservative group Judicial Watch has obtained documents showing that the USDA actively worked to help illegal immigrants obtain food stamps. Fox Business anchor Lou Dobbs elaborated on the story. "The American people are being gamed again," Dobbs groused, "not by illegal immigrants, not by the Mexican government, but by our own government. This program started in 2004 under George Bush and carried through under Barack Obama. The USDA is working in concert with Mexico to recruit food stamp recipients, which is the exact opposite of what the regulations say." The Factor accused USDA officials of willful law-breaking: "The federal government is not supposed to distribute welfare to people who are here illegally, but the USDA ignored that and said we will do what we want. The government is not obeying the laws on the books."
Behind-the-scenes at the George W. Bush Library dedication
All five living U.S. Presidents were together in Dallas Thursday for the dedication of the George W. Bush Presidential Library, and Karl Rove was there as well. He entered the No Spin Zone with some behind-the-scenes information. "There is a cordial relationship among all five," Rove reported, "but before the event there were President Bush 41, President Bush 43, President Clinton, and President Obama all having a nice conversation. Off to the side looking pensive was Jimmy Carter, who is a different kind of a cat. He was hanging off to the side and not really engaged with the others, which is just his nature. But they were all gracious and respectful when they spoke." Rove also weighed in on the earlier segment with Barney Frank. "He made a provocatively political and unnecessary comment in the immediate aftermath of the Boston bombings. There was a bombing and he said no tax cut would have helped; that was a stretch and it had nothing to do with the issue."
Gang leader impregnated 4 prison guards while running contraband scheme at Baltimore jail
Tavon White, a gang leader at the Baltimore City Detention Center who allegedly ran a drug-and-sex ring inside the prison, has also reportedly impregnated four corrections officers. The Factor asked Geraldo Rivera to investigate. "This is like a real-life episode of The Wire," Rivera began. "This guy took over the jail with the implied consent of the prison administration. He kept order, and in return for keeping order, he became the king of the jail. He and his thugs ran dope-dealing and prostitution and he was in charge of anything and everything. The authorities allowed him to have free run." The Factor declared that the buck stops with Maryland Governor Martin O'Malley: "You hear about this in Mexico but we are supposed to have a system of accountability and corrections czar Gary Maynard has not even been fired! This is so outrageous and embarrassing and I am demanding that Maynard be fired. If Governor O'Malley does not fire him, then it's on O'Malley."
Is the media humanizing the Boston bombing suspects?
60 Minutes aired an interview with a high school classmate of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, who described the suspected terrorist in glowing terms. Guys Friday Greg Gutfeld and Bernard McGuirk were not amused. "This is beyond disgusting," Gutfeld declared, "we have turned terror into an article from Teen Beat magazine. We are actually feeding the attention-seeking losers who realize they will get nothing in life other than some kind of fame, we are feeding that by having these stupid interviews with stupid people! I do not want to see anyone associated with Tsarnaev brothers ever again. I don't want to see the faces of the family or the killers, I hate them all!" McGuirk questioned the motivation for the quasi-sympathetic articles and interviews. "The New York Times described the kid's love for Frosted Flakes and his taste in music. It's inexplicable, why do they do it? The only conclusion you can draw is that they don't like this country and therefore they like these people." Gutfeld then took a moment to deliver a verbal smackdown to Time magazine and its list of "influential" people. "Time is now officially thinner than Kate Moss, I have seen instructions from Ikea that are thicker than that magazine. So they found who was most popular and threw this list together to build their brand, which is dying."

Returning for a second segment, the lads named the week's most pinheaded people. McGuirk went with Virgin Airlines boss Richard Branson, whose new ad campaign implies that flying on Virgin is an ideal way to meet a sex partner. "This guy should not be allowed to own an airline," McGuirk pronounced. "The only way you 'get lucky' when you fly these days is if you are not squeezed between two smelly fat guys, your luggage gets there, and your flight is not delayed. People want to be left alone!" Gutfeld singled out NBC's Tom Brokaw, who theorized that drone attacks play a role in anti-US terror. "I blame drones, too, drones like him! He is a drone who cannot pronounce the letter 'L' and cannot pronounce 'Muslim terror. ' He is afraid of being perceived as a bigot, which prevents him from placing blame." The Factor ridiculed school officials in California who failed to expel a high school student who physically attacked her female teacher: "The student has been suspended but not expelled. The district superintendent should have sent the message that you cannot have students fighting with teachers."
Future scribes
Fox News correspondent Ed Henry runs the White House Correspondents Association scholarship fund, which raises money to send poor kids to journalism school. Check out the program at whca.net.
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